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And those relationships aren't (in any normal scenario) linked with sexual passion.

That's why some husbands and wives are open about what pleases them sexually only when they have affairs.

Why don't you tell me something you think would really surprise me about what you wish we could do in bed?

Then I promise to tell you something I think would surprise you." Putting it that way assures the other person that you anticipate being taken aback, and welcome it.

People sometimes tell me they know a couple married 20 years whose sex life is still as good as it ever was.

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