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by  |  18-Feb-2017 06:34

It seems, though, that “masc4masc” has recently been considered more tongue-in-cheek by some of the userbase. Scruff has taken steps to create a more inclusive environment for all types of gay men to find partners with whom they click.“Since Scruff added more femme-forward profile options [such as transgender, queer, and drag], I’ve had much fewer ‘masc only’ dudes contacting me.I see equal amounts of guys saying ‘masc only’ and guys making fun of the ‘masc only’ trend.” — Jesse, 25Being able to identify with femme-inclusive identities in these spaces is certainly a step in the right direction.

It seems like a shallow and almost egregious way to find a mate — Darwin (to say nothing of Freud! When I come across men on these apps who seem so dead-set on finding someone who’s “masc,” I wonder — what is it, exactly, they’re looking for? If we take traditional masculinity, heavily reliant on the social conventions of straight dudes, then they’re looking for someone “straight acting” — and yet despite some adult films I’ve seen, I’m not sure that fucking other guys is something that hypermasculine straight guys do very much.

Many of the definitions of masculinity center on what straight guys “should” be like, and therefore how the ideal gay guy “should” act: “speaking in a deep voice,” “playing and watching sports like football and basketball,” and “beer drinking” were all mentioned.

One guy went from wanting to fuck me to wanting to train me at the gym and bulk me up, saying how I look like I’ve never seen the gym and need to gain more. Masculinity as the absence of feminine traits points at an avoidance, rather than a preference.

He started talking about how he wants to train me and started recommending protein I can take to get bigger. Do men act masculine because they feel more comfortable that way, or are they just trying to do whatever it takes to not be feminine?

But what they don’t tell you is that once you’re out of the closet, you’re out of the frying pan and into the fire, honey—because many gay men have the same hang-ups about masculinity as those spiteful boys from middle school.

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