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Maybe it’s a good idea to always be a selfish bitch! Can you see why this is an exhausting, and ultimately unsatisfying path to finding a long term relationship? Not because there aren’t hundreds of things I’d rather do. But she wants me here, so I put her needs (my presence in the house) above my own (going out and having fun with my friends).
Because if you were the perfect girlfriend, and he pulled away from you during this time, it just means that he’s NOT the man you want to marry. Same way I’d tell any nice guy not to put up with bullshit with a woman who actually wants a bad boy. You just have to put your ego aside for the sake of a relationship that’s bigger than you.
Let the bad boys and bad girls terrorize each other. Since I know you, Tamara, I have a feeling that your boyfriend isn’t entirely at fault here and that you let your ego and worldview of how things are “supposed to be” get in the way of your relationship.
I usually don’t write on the weekends, but this email from a regular reader made me change my mind – especially since it’s thematically relevant to my most recent post, as well as my new book that’s coming out in a few weeks: All right, Evan, so I’ve been following your blog and advice for quite awhile now and I sure learned a lot from it.
You are right on most things, but I must say I was right on this one: Men care more about women who don’t care for them.
Nice guys who are only nice are boring, but the proverbial “nice guy with edge” is the holy grail for most women.